Saturday September 17th. After I've finished this last cup of Lavazza, I'll be jumping in the car with my first born, Tom, to take him to Leeds. He starts at university there next week, reading physics.
I still remember very cearly the day he was born in Leicester Royal Infirmary, I think times like that never leave us do they? After I'd cut the cord, the mid-wife took Carol off to clean up whilst he lay on my chest and went to sleep. It must have been early afternoon as I remember I/we watched "How" and "The Flintstones". When he was just a year or so old so we got to spend lots of quality time together and really bonded as his mum started working weekends. Since then he has been an absolute joy to have around. He always been well behaved, thoughtful, kind and considerate. Those teenage years I worried about have been a breeze!
Today is going to be a real rollercoaster ride of emotions. Once I get myself back together I'm sure I'll be back to write about it :-(
So, it is sunday evening now and it has really been a rollercoaster. The trip up to Leeds was lovely thanks to the wonderful Honda. We got there and got him checked into his nice room in a nice flat, with two other lads and two girls, in a nice block, just 10 minutes walk from campus. We drove down to Morrison's and stocked up his fridge and larder. He paid, to trial his new credit card clone on my account to check it worked ok, and it did. We got back and were sat eating our sausage rolls and pasties and Tom got upset. He was struggling with the whole concept, a big wobble. To be honest, half the problem was that he had not slept well the night before partly due to Beth staying perhaps. He was tired and hitting the dip but his upset pulled at my heart strings as it must do for any parent. We talked and after a while he seemed to feel better but I could not leave him so we walked back into town to grab him a few things that we had seen he was missing. Walking back up the hill we stopped for a lovely smoothie! Back at his flat we finished unpacking his clothes and the poor lad is struggling again. We talk some more, he accepts that everything is ok really but tiredness is making everything more scarey. In the end he is on the up and I decide that with his flatmates chatting and having a real good time in the kitchen next door I might actually be doing more harm than good by hanging around. I leave, giving him a massive hug and telling him how much I love him and how proud I am, and drive on back down to Kate's. As I'm leaving a lovely girl pops out of the kitchen says to Tom, "hey, come on thorugh and chat!" so that really helps.
Evidently, he does so and enjoys their company for a couple of hours before they all head off to a party at a flat downstairs. Tom stays for a while but it's loud music and drinking which is not really his scene. He heads back but has a bad night partly because other inhabitants of the block keep waking him. So, this morning he is still shattered and struggling, to the point that he's not eating. We exchange texts and have a couple of chats. I encourage his mum to actually give him a ring as well. Mid-morning, his party animal flat mates get out of bed, they all chat for a couple of hours and then head off onto campus to get their barings and then into town. Tonight, they are out at the pub and Tom seems to have turned a corner, but he's found the change hard.
For me, that two and half drive back down from Leeds was tough. I struggled for Tom and also spent a lot of time thinking about my own father. It was hard and there were a few tears shed. Kate has been a rock, she was amazing last night in talking sense into me and making me feel better. Spending time with her and her "little people" today has also been a welcome distraction.
Tom is doing a brilliant thing by going to Leeds to study for a degree in physics. He knew it would be hard away from familiar faces, in new surroundings and possibly most importantly, away from his gf of two and a half years.
As I said, I love him immensely and am so very proud :-)
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